Al Compas del Ranma!
by WFROSE
Summary: Eh, I really don't know where this came from ::shrugs, and walks off::
1. Default Chapter

Al Compas del RRRRRRANMAAAAAA!  
Prologue  
  
  
  
The redhead brushed the rain from her bangs, as she stared down her mysterious opponent. The darkness held kept the girl from getting a firm visual of what her advisary looked like. The opponent was about the same size as her, with a narrow waist and willowy legs. Large eyes stared back at Ranma, as two maces were brought to bear. With the weapons at ready, Ranma noticed the large smile that glistened off what little light was available.  
  
"So, you're the one that sent the challenge?" The redhead replied defiantly. She recieved no verbal reply. "Okay, so you're just gonna sit there with that funny grin and stare at me all night? You some kind of pervert?"  
  
Her opponent did a graceful backflip, and a slight shifting sound, like beans being sifted through, was heard softly in the air. Ranma understood the display as an urging of challenge, and went into stance.  
  
"Fine, if you're ready to get this show on the road, I won't argue. Let's just make this quick so I can get out of the rain..."  
  
The pigtailed girl's opponent let out an inhuman scream, and began the contest...  
________________  
  
"RANMA!" Akane shouted, as she opened to door to find her fiancee bruised and passed out in front of the door.  
  
"A-Akane?" the redhead drowsily enquired, while weakly raising her head.  
  
"What happened to you? Who did this to you? You haven't been home since after dinner last night!" The raven haired girl asked in concern; someone capable of doing this to Ranma was someone to be reckoned with.  
  
"It-it was..."  
  
"BOY!!! HOW DARE YOU COME BACK IN DEFEAT!" shouted a roboust voice from inside the Tendou home. In an instant, a nearly unconcious Ranma was being held up by her shirt by a balding and stalky man in a gi, "OH! How it pains me to see my worthless son return in such a weakened state! You have completely dishonored the Saotome Clan, and for that, you will train harder than you ever have before for a rematch!" The girl moaned, and rolled her eyes into her head in reply.  
  
"Challenge? What challenge?" Akane interjected, her brow furrowing in contemplation.  
  
"Apparently the challenge letter he left lying around last night," Nabiki stated from behind her sister, while holding up a letter. Akane snatched it from her sister's fingers, and began to read.  
  
"HEY!" Akane shouted, "since when could Ranma read Spanish?"  
  
"I don't think he can," Nabiki stated idly, "but he does have it translated." The middle Tendou sister held up the paper in Ranma's scrawl for Akane to look over. Fortunately, she had gained practice over the time she had known the pigtailed martial artist to be able to read the nearly illegible handwriting;  
  
"The Ranma, challenging to you the I am which comes  
The being less crowded to the soldier where your your  
country is large, with I obtained my itself reputation with  
your defeat which is prepared my because of three days   
to be  
  
Friend"  
  
Akane stared intently at the letter, and then looked back to her sister with a half lidded stare, "Yahoo Babelfish Translater?"  
  
"Why else would Ranma spend that much time in the school computer hall?" Nabiki answered in an amused voice, "Fortunately, I took the liberty of finding someone who spoke Spanish to do a proper translation.  
  
"Ranma, I am coming to challenge you.   
You are a great warrior of your country,   
and I wish to gain my own fame through   
your defeat, prepare for me in three days  
  
Friend"  
  
"Friend? Some friend!" Akane groused, while glancing at the comatose redhead who was being jostled to pay attention to her father, "It's someone Ranma knows, apparently, but who out of Ranma's rivals does he know that speaks Spanish?"  
  
Genma paused, and started to sweat, "Uh, n-not a one to my knowlege..."  
  
"Oh, then it must be a fiancee, then," Akane said evenly, while keeping a withering glance on Mr. Saotome.  
  
"Uh, maybe the boy needs a bit of rest, I'll, just go put him in his room for a bit," Genma took off like a bolt, forgetting to take his wayward daughter with him.  
  
"I swear, if greed and spinlessness were commodities, I would sincerely relish being that man's broker," Nabiki stated, dryly.  
  
"Well, we're still nowhere closer to finding out who did this to Ranma."  
  
"I wouldn't worry about it," Nabiki replied without concern, "Whoever it was will either show up eventually, or Ranma will spill the beans when he comes around."  
  
"Well, I guess you're right," Akane replied, looking down with faint exasperation at the mumbling girl.  
________________  
  
Ranma's defeat was met.  
  
It was what the stranger to the country of Japan set out to do, and succeeded in. He had grown well beyond the stardom of his own home country, and had set out to make a name for himself with the rest of the world. It was a task he vowed he would not return home until it was complete, and he was only at the beginning of his long journey.  
  
He chose Japan first, as it was one of the few places his beautiful art had not completely permeated the land. This was an atrocity that he could not let pass. He worked hard, bringing himself up from humble beginnings to where he was today, and he would not rest until his fame was complete.  
  
The cheshire cat grin appeared on his face again. Soon word of one of Japan's greatest fighters would spread. Once it did, he would be known throught the islands of this nation. Every Japanese man, woman, and child will know his name...  
  
Amigo  
  
With a screech of victory, Amigo pulled out a set of maraccas, and leapt from the building top he was standing upon, and into the crowd that was below. Everyone stopped to stare at the awe-inspiring sight of a Hispanic monkey with a sombrero and jean shorts with the soul of Samba as his deadly form of combat, and the bossa nova rythem as his guide, shaking a pair of red, yellow, and green maraccas, while leaping in and out between them.  
  
Ranma/Samba De Amigo Crossover 


	2. Part 1; Samba de la Smackdown

Ranma/ Samba De Amigo  
AL COMPAS DEL RANMAAAAAAA  
Part 1  
  
  
  
"What's the last thing you remember?" Akane asked, handing Ranma another ice pack. The pigtailed boy took it greatfully, and gently put it against his head.  
  
"I went to answer a challenge I got yesterday, and met up with this little freak. We started to fight, and that's all I recall..."  
  
"Hmm, so it wasn't Happosai or Cologne, because we would be hearing about it from them by now," Nabiki mused, "Not that they would have bothered with a challenge letter in the first place, and nither of them would hardly list themselves simply as 'Friend'."  
  
"So we have another short and powerful martial artist roaming around Nerima with a mad-on for Ranma? I swear the way you make enemies, it's a wonder anyone even associates with you," Akane replied with a bit of humor in her voice.  
  
"Hey, this ain't my fault! I didn't even know the guy! He had some weird fighting style that I had never seen before, caught me off-guard."  
  
"Boy, didn't I always tell you to be on guard of weird fighting styles you have never seen before?" Genma bellowed in front of his son.  
  
"Come to think about it... no you haven't Pop."  
  
"That's no excuse to let your guard down!" The elder Saotome struck a pose of remorse, "Oh, how did I raise such a worthless son! The Saotome name is so shamed!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, you've already said that before," Nabiki drolled, and then turned to Ranma, "So, we can't have another hot shot come through town and push the great Ranma Saotome around, what you going to do about it?"  
  
Ranma shot to standing after having his pride stroked, yet subtly insulted (not that he realized it). His face held an expression of irritated determination, "I ain't lett'n that freak get the drop of me again. Next time, Ranma Saotome will make sure the outcome's different!"  
  
"That's good to know," Nabiki replied, putting down her cellphone after calling her associates to keep an eye out for Ranma getting his butt handed to him by some wierd and short fighter, and that they were to record it on digital 800X700 for profi... for prosterity, "We're counting on you." The middle Tendou sister had to admit that it was just too easy sometimes. Just say the right things to him, and he'll run off half-cocked without truly assessing the situation. Sure he'll win in the end, he *is* Ranma Saotome, after all, but there were a lot of people who wouldn't mind seeing the boy brought down a few pegs. She would have to set a fair price for Ryoga and Mousse's copies of the upcoming fight.  
  
"Yes boy, the Honor of the Anything Goes School is at stake! You better not screw up again."  
  
"I, RANMA SAOTOME OF THE ANYTHING GOES SCHOOL OF MARTIAL ARTS, SWEARS THAT THAT LITTLE FREAK AIN'T GOT THE BEST OF ME, YET!" Ranma's aura pulsed with brutal confidense, as he held a dramatic pose. Kasumi smiled, and repolished around Ranma, where his battle aura was melting the floor wax.  
  
"Oh Ranma," Akane whispered, as she watched the tear of pain that slid down Ranma's cheek, brought on by his just reaggrivated injuries.  
__________________________  
  
"So, Son-in-Law was soundly defeated by a new advisary?" Cologne enquired of the myopic boy.  
  
"He's not your Son-in-Law, you old bat, and yeah, he was beaten pretty bad."  
  
Cologne hopped away from the spontaniously unconcious boy (or at least it seemed that way, as fast as Cologne had moved) and mused to herself, "Hmm, yet another powerful fighter in Nerima, this bears some looking into..."  
  
"Shampoo no worried, airen always win in end."  
  
"Perhaps, Shampoo. Maybe I'm just concerned over trivial matters, but nonetheless I would do to keep an eye out."  
__________________________  
  
"What? No way! Ran-chan can handle anything that's thrown at him!" Ukyo debated with her only staff member. Konatsu sighed, and kept himself in a prone position.  
  
"I do not mean to slander Ranma-san in any fashion, as I respect his skills tremendously. But I cannot deny the evidence." The male kunoichi straighted himself, and stared directly at his boss, "He had his butt handed to him on a dish."  
  
"No way! That can't be true! There's just no way!"  
__________________________  
  
"Hmm, so the dark wizard Saotome has met his match, you say?"  
  
"Yes, master," the diminuative ninja replied to the scion of the Kuno Family, "He was no match for his opponent!"  
  
"Methinks the Gods themselves have found his evil deeds, beyond their tolerance, and the mockery of holy union the fiend attempted with the lovely Akane Tendou is but the final flake of snow that sets the avalance. Sasuke, I wish to be kept informed of this development."  
  
"As you wish."  
  
From a hidden panel in the ceiling, "So, one would dare face the wrath of my dear Ranma-sama? They have yet to realize the folly of their actions."  
__________________________  
  
"LIV'N LA VIDA LOCAAAAAAA!!!!!"  
  
Samba frowned, as all the patrons of the Karaoke bar rushed out to escape the absolute terror that was born of modern Latin American culture. The Hispanic musician turned down the sound system, fading the original composer's music and voice to inaudibility.  
  
He couldn't understand it, he had proven that his art was better than even Japan's greatest art, the art of combat. But, they still always seemed to be in a rush to be elsewhere. It saddened him that the people of Japan simply did not have the time to enjoy the great music of his culture. But perhaps if he could only convince them to make time...  
  
The Mexican native sighed, and left the bar.  
__________________________  
  
"Ranma, I think you're getting too overworked about this, I mean it was just one defeat," Akane huffed, her fiancee could be so stubburn sometimes.  
  
"Akane, today it's just one defeat, but then what about tomorrow?" Ranma enquired, not turning around to face the raven-haired girl, "If I let this slide, someone else could stroll in while my confidence is shot. And then after that, and after that..."  
  
"Ranma, you can't always be the best, you know..." Akane stopped, and stepped back from Ranma's wild eyed glare. She had spoken blasphemy.  
  
"A... Akane, perhaps you should go practice in the dojo for the time being," Soun intervined, not wanting his daughter to have to atone for her sacreligious words.  
  
"But Dad, he's just buying into his own press! He needs to be humbled every once in..."  
  
"ENOUGH! I will not have you say such things in this house young lady!"  
  
"Et tu, Dad?"  
  
Ranma relaxed, and sighed after the two disappeared into the dojo, and walked to the front door to start his search.  
  
"RANMA! IS IT TRUE?!?!?"  
  
The pigtailed boy staggered back from the front door, reeling from the combined outburst of Ukyo, Shampoo, Tatewake, Kodachi, Gosenkugi, the woman who washed down her walkway, Hiroshi, Daisuke, Yuka (Sayuri was home, sick), and Herb.  
  
Ranma blinked at the last one, "Uh, what are you doing here?"  
  
"I happened to be in the neighborhood," The currently princess replied, unphased.  
  
"Ah, and who are you?" Ranma asked, pointing to the longhaired thirty some odd year old man carrying a keg on his shoulder.  
  
"Dude, I thought you guys were heading for a totally ROCK party!"  
  
"I see," Ranma replied, "Anyway, I got a little freak to go have a rematch with!"  
  
Everyone gasped at the roundabout confirmation, as Ranma made his way through the crowd at the front door and onto the rooftops.  
  
After unessisarily gasping, everyone still standing in front of the Tendou's front entryway relaxed. "It's no big deal, right?" Ukyo stated, once again regaining her usual sanguine atitude, "It may take a try or two, but Ranma-honey always comes out on top!"  
  
"Is too, too true, airen show enemy who boss for sure!"  
  
"*Sigh*, it's true, there just is not a person, entity, mythical being, or magic concoction that can defeat him." the gangly boy with rings around his eyes and candles on his head sulked at the futility of his hope.  
  
"I beg to differ, he just managed to get lucky, is all," the regal princess corrected.  
  
"Dude, that Ranma dude mus kick total ass." the man washing his armpits with the contents of the keg added, before taking a swig from the metal barrel.  
  
"Verily, the great dark magics the cur imposes have yet to truly find their betters from any other than my divine self. Mind if I partake in your bountiful ale?"  
__________________________  
  
Ranma leapt from rooftop to rooftop, in search of his query. Whatever Gods that had been watching him must have blessed his day (or required some form of entertainment, immortality supposadly gets pretty boring from what I've been told), because it didn't take long for him to spot a familiar oversized hat and pancho...  
  
"ALRIGHT YOU JERK! IT'S PAYBACK TIME!!!" Ranma flew towards the seemingly oblivious midget with a dart kick. Right before it connected, Ranma found a faceful of finely woven Mexican burlap. The martial artist landed hard from his attack, creating a sizable hole in the sidewalk, but did not let that hinder him.  
  
As soon as he regained his footing, he went back into action, "KATCHU TESHIN AMAGURIKEN!!!" As fast as the punches flowed, the only thing they were able to connect with was the hollowed out mace weapons that rattled with a sound of a roaring ocean.  
  
The pigtailed boy broke the stalemate by flipping backwards, and then delivering an outside crescent kick to his opponent's head. The sambrero wearing advisary also backflipped to safety, and began to dance and shake his maraccas frantically.  
  
That's what it was, he hadn't truly proven his superiority in this island. Ranma Saotome still yet refused to allow himself to be defeated. Samba's pulse raced and his adrenaline reached high voltage at the chance to face this wiley advisary.  
  
Both combatants rushed after each other on some hidden signal... 


	3. Part 2 Me gusta la Glutton for Punishmen...

Ranma/ Samba De Amigo  
AL COMPAS DEL RANMA!  
  
  
  
"I'll get that little freak yet!" The pigtailed martial artist growled vehemantly. This so called 'friend' had managed to best the greatest martial artist of this generation, and Ranma vowed he would earn that title back.  
  
"Ranma," Akane sighed, handing Ranma another couple of asprin, and a steak to replace the thawed out one on his eye, "Sometimes, it's just best to admit defeat."  
  
"I SHALL NEVER ADMIT DEFEAT!" Ranma shouted with vigor; shooting to standing. "Ouch..."  
  
"Sorry, Kuno relapse," Akane apologised, removing her foot from Ranma's face, "I'll go get a steak for that other eye.  
  
Ranma groaned, as he almost seemed to melt to the floor. Even as he settled, his conviction remained firm, "You may have beat me twice, but Ranma Saotome always gets his own in the end!"  
_____________  
  
"My, your boy seems to certainly be determined," Soun stated, watching Ranma's intense training in the dojo.  
  
Genma glanced sideways at his friend and old training partner, "What do you mean 'your boy'? He's *your* future son-in-law!" Genma retorted, not wanting to take up the blame for Ranma's current losses.  
  
Soun gave a withering glance sideways at Genma, "You trained him."  
  
"Oh! How bleak the future of the Anything Goes School of Martial arts, when its heir cannot even defeat a lone challenger!" Genma lamented, while pointadly ignoring Soun's implied barb.  
  
"Cheer up, Saotome," Soun perked, "Look on the bright side, once Akane and Ranma are united, and sire a true heir, we can train him without all the mistakes you made with Ran-"  
  
"WILL YOU TWO JERKS SHUT UP?!?" Ranma bellowed, while both his arms were still held forward from his pitches."  
  
"Well," Soun stated, stoically, "At least his pitch is sound.  
  
"I bet his left pitch hurts more than his Right, Tendou," Genma replied, before both of them collapsed backwards; each with a brick in their face.  
  
Ranma took a deep breath, and calmed himself, "Anyway, as much as you two idiots talk, I bet I can now take both of you, easy!"  
  
Both Genma and Soun shot to standing, as if they had never been injured, "We'll take that challenge, boy!" Genma then pushed his glasses further up his nose, "Remember, you only brought this upon yourself..." Both Soun and Genma leapt to attack.  
  
"HEY! NO FAIR, TWO AGAINST ONE!!!"  
_____________  
  
Ranma chuckled, as he stood over the broken and bruised bodies of the two older martial artists, while he himself remained unsatched. He brought his fist up to chest level, and then tighted it, as his battle aura flaired, "Get ready, 'friend', cause Ranma Saotome's coming at ya, better than ever!"  
  
With confident deterination, Ranma stepped around the crumbled body of Soun, still waving a white flag made from a floor splinter of wood and his white boxers...  
_____________  
  
Amigo stood in a clearing that overlooked the city. He had defeated Japan's great champion, yet no one had yet to acknowledge his great art of Samba. The Hispanic Monkey decided that it is because he had to improve his art even further, and chose to do it in the manner the Japanese did in order to gain their respect.  
  
The training grounds he had chosen were slightly desolate, and looked like there had been a battle waged in the area a while back; what with all the shattered boulders, a few hanging from ropes, and ransacked landscape. The foreigner to the land calmed himself, and became one with the land, he was ready to begin...  
  
"HEY! MONKEY! RIGHT BACK AT YA!"  
  
Amigo turned, to find his twice now defeated opponent jumping down from a tree. The monkey was impressed; Ranma Saotome was proving to be a wiley challenge that refused to be overcome. Amigo's smile grew, as his blood began to boil with the rhythm of Samba.  
  
And thus, the battle was joined, once again...  
_____________  
  
"Oh, Akari," Ryoga sighed, walking through the thickets, "If I could only find your devoted presence beyond these bushes, would my despairing existance of a life be fulfilled. Oh Akane, if I could only happen upon your smiling face, to at least tell you what feelings I may have once had for you, may I feel the great burden upon my heart for leaving you with that cad (though now admittadly slightly honorable, at least a little) Saotome, be lifted from me..."  
  
The fanged boy felt the familiar pressure of his depression building within him, beckoning him to release it, and allow him some relief, before he happened upon an irritated Ranma.  
  
The pigtailed boy continued to rap the fingertips of his right hand in the dirt, while a monkey wearing a pancho and sombrero from what Ryoga presumed was Germany (they always wore weird things there) screeched, perched on Ranma's back, and banging a pair of maraccas upon his head.  
  
"A little hand?" Ranma snapped at Ryoga, with a tone that reflected his tone. Ryoga stoically nodded, and pulled out a folding chair from his pack. With a deep breath, Ryoga sat down, and laughed.  
_____________  
  
"THAT'S IT!" Ranma shouted, leaping down from the house he stood on to challenge his 'friend' again. Amigo was in awe of his thrice opponent. Ranma's fighting spirit was a true challenge to the art of Samba. To turn down another rematch, he just could not do in clear concience...  
_____________  
  
"AIREN!" Shampoo shouted, as she landed her bike from the nearby fence, and next to Ranma. She blinked at the sight, and whispered, "Aiyaa..."  
  
Ranma was laid out on his stomach, oblivious to outside stimuli, while a hyperactive monkey in weird clothing shook noisy baby rattlers while dancing on his back.  
  
Shampoo got off her bike, while still holding her delivery, and brought her face close to Ranma's, "Shampoo feel for Ranma, and Shampoo hope Ranma win in next rematch, but Shampoo find this too, too funny..."  
_____________  
  
"THIS TIME, IT'S FOR REAL!"  
  
Now, the monkey was just getting irritated...  
_____________  
  
"Oh, Ranma-chan," Ukyo remoursed, before handing Konatsu her battlespatula, "You scrape him up, I can't bare to look..."  
_____________  
  
"DON'T THINK THIS IS OVER YET!"  
  
The monkey rolled his eyes; couldn't this guy just take a hint?  
_____________  
  
Amigo stared, wide eyed at his opponent. He was now definitely impressed.  
  
"Heh, ain't so cocky now, are ya!" Ranma challenged, grinning. So far, he had matched his current nemesis move for move. Even though they were stalemated, Ranma was confident he now had the upper hand, "Took me a few tries, but I'm onto your style now!"  
  
The primal force that was Samba flowed through Amigo's veins with vigor; this was what he had been looking for, this was the reason the people of the land had shunned his art; he had not truly been challenged. NOW... Japan's finest was giving him the true challenge he sought; the real trial that would prove to the nation that Samba was the greatest art in the world! Amigo now had to use his greater techniques...  
  
Ranma blinked, and then took a step back, as his monkey friend began start shaking his maraccas more that began to change from red to gold..."  
_____________  
  
"EY! RANMA-KEIKI!" a certain rather exorbant principle called out, skipping down the street with a pair of sheers. There were more than a few comments on how it would be a shame if he tripped, "I KNOW THIS NOT BEIN' DA SCHOOL DAY, BUT DA BIG KAHUNA BE COMING AROUND TO GIVE YOU DA SHOOL REGULATION MOHAWK WITH DE CUTE QUIF OF HAIR IN DE FRONT, YA!"  
  
Principle Kuno came to a stop, as he saw Ranma rapidly running at him with a wild-eyed expression. For a moment the principle of Furinkan High was flabbergasted, and then exhalted, that Ranma was overly anxious for his offer.  
  
AAAAAAHHH!!!!! THE MONKEY! THE MONKEY'S EYES HAVE STARS!!! THOSE TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE STARS! OH GODS, IT'S SHAKING A PAIR OF HUGE GOLD MARACCAS!!!  
  
The eldest Kuno blinked, as he saw Ranma rush by him in a blur, followed by a monkey, holding two gold blurs almost as large as itself that it was shaking around menacingly.  
  
"WAH-HA-HA! DA BIG KAHUNA BE HITT'N DA CAPTAIN'S SPICED RUM A BIT TOO HARD, YA?" The principle shouted, jovially, as he continued to skip down the street the way he was heading. 


	4. Part 3 Eh at least it's not the Macarena

Ranma/ Samba de Amigo  
AL COMPASS DEL RANMA!  
Final  
  
  
  
"Ranma, Ranma, Ranma..." Nabiki drolled. She went silent for a while, still trying to figure out something to say about the latest incident between Ranma and his current nemesis, and replied, "...uh... Ranma." For once, she was at a loss of words. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, this had to be the most awe-inspiring moment she had ever witnessed.  
  
"I ain't licked yet!" Ranma proclaimed, as he crouched in the tearoom with the Tendou sisters, "He ain't invincible, that little monkey's gotta have a weakness!"  
  
"Ranma, just... just give it up," Akane pleaded in her most sincere voice, "People are starting to talk!"  
  
"NO WAY! THAT MONKEY IS GOING DOWN!!!" Ranma bellowed, shooting to standing, and knocking the tea-table onto Akane, who had been sitting across from him. "I bet the old ghoul knows something! She probably knows some secret technique that'll give me the edge! Yeah, that's the ticket!"  
  
With that, Ranma turned towards the door, and ra-... and was swatted into the wooden floor like a fly, by an irate fiancee weilding a large oak, four legged fly swatter.  
__________________  
  
"Hey! Old ghoul! I have to ask ya something!" Ranma shouted out as he entered the Cat Cafe.  
  
"Let me guess," an old voice called out for the kitchen, "You wanted to know if I have some secret technique for beating Martial arts Samba practicing monkeys, am I correct?"  
  
"Whoa..." Ranma whispered, "That's pretty good!"  
  
"Not really," Cologne commented with a sigh, "It's all over the five O'clock news. News has been slow lately, apparently."  
  
Ranma wilted at the bit of information, but decided not to let it get to him, "So, what can you show me?"  
  
"Ranma... let us sit down," Cologne motioned the pigtailed fighter to a booth in the corner, and sat down across from him, "Listen, Son-in-law. It's not often that I give this profound of advice, and such advice as I'm about to give you should not be taken lightly. Someone once said, it's best to quit while you're ahead."  
  
"Uh, but I ain't ahead at the moment," Ranma commented with a confused frown.  
  
"Sun Tzu had observed that when you engage in actual fighting, and victory is long in coming, then men's weapons dull and the ardor will be dumped."  
  
"I'm not sure I follow," Ranma replied, scratching his head.   
  
"Mestre Bimba one stated 'quem aguenta tepestade e` rochedo'." Cologne continued, while pointing to the large sign over her head that read "Only the cliffs stand against the tempest."  
  
"Uh, can you translate that to English for me?" Ranma enquired. Cologne blinked, and slammed the sign down on Ranma.  
  
"FOOL! YOU SPEAK JAPANESE!!!"  
  
"Alright! Alright!" Ranma groaned from under the sign, "I'm a bit out of it today!" Ranma pulled himself back into the booth seat, "What's got you so irritated, anyway?"  
  
Cologne continued to rub her forehead to relieve the stress, "Nothing, nothing. It's just not every day you find out your Great-Granddaughter is marrying some fool that consistantly seeks abuse from a monkey."  
  
"But you abuse me all the time!"  
  
Cologne stared at Ranma for the longest time, before speaking, "Which way is it to Ukyo's restaurant, Ranma?"  
  
"Uh, that way," Ranma pointed to the side of himself.  
  
"Thank you, would you mind standing here for a sec...?" Cologne motioned Ranma to the middle of the floor.  
  
"Um, sure..." Ranma wasn't sure what was going on; maybe she was about to show him what he wanted to learn finally?  
  
"Thank you," Cologne wound her staff back for a vicious golf swing. Let the boy's best friend put up with him for a while...  
__________________  
  
"Welcome to Uchan's..." Konatsu caught one look at Ranma, and turned away, snickering.  
  
Ranma ignored the cross-dresser, and headed for the booth, hoping Ukyo and a free meal would inspire him to an idea for victory.  
  
"So whadd'll it... Ranma."  
  
"Hey Ucchan," the pigtailed boy greeted tiredly.  
  
"Ah... would you mind coming back later, Rancha.... Ranma? I'm kinda busy right now."  
  
Ranma looked around, but only found a beet red Konatsu trying his best not to break down in hysterics. "Busy with what?"  
  
"Come on, you're scaring the customers away!" Ukyo whispered harshly, looking around with nervous eyes.  
  
"Oh, not you too!" Ranma snapped, putting two and two together. At that moment, Konatsu cae over, and tapped Ranma on the shoulder, "What do you want?"  
  
"You have a monkey on your back," Konatsu replied in a calm tone.  
  
"GETITOFFGETITOFFGETIT.... THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!!" Ranma glared down at the hysterical Konatsu, before giving a disgusted snort, and walking out Ucchans.  
  
Ukyo glared at her waiter, after Ranma had left, "That wasn't very nice, Konatsu."  
  
"He's... [hee hee] long gone now, Ukyo-sa[snicker]sama..."  
  
"Oh thank the deities, I didn't think I could hold it in much longer!"  
  
Robust laughter filled the inside of Ucchans  
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"Ranma, really, this has gotten out of hand..."  
  
"Don't worry about it, I finally figured it out, Akane," Ranma replied from the top of the stairs.  
  
"Ranma, I'm asking you, as a friend, please stop! You'll only make things worse!"  
  
"That's advice I would take, Saotome," Nabiki commented, watching TV.  
  
"This is it, no hold barred. Me and the monkey one last go!" Ranma's voice reigned confidense, so much that Akane staggered, and felt that possibly, just possibly, Ranma would win in the end, after all.  
  
"Wow, sounds like you finally got this figured out!" Even Nabiki was impressed by the attitude of the young Saotome.  
  
"It was so simple, too! I don't even know how I coulda missed it!" With that, Ranma leapt from the top of the stairs, "Now it's time to go kick some monkey tai-... what the Hell's so funny?"  
  
"GOOD LORD! MAKE IT STOP!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA, OH MY BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! IT HURTS!!! OH GOD IT HURTS!!! HAAAAAAAAAAAA"  
  
Ranma turned from the hysterically laughing Nabiki, to Akane, and found her with her back turned to him, though here neck was crimson flushed, "Why are you turned around?"  
  
"Because," Akane started, as calmly as possible, "If I turn around, I won't be able to contain myself. I will begin to laugh until I vomit. I do not like vomiting, Ranma, it's very uncomfortable..."  
  
"Whatever," the pigtailed boy replied, tersely, before heading off for destiny...  
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Amigo watched the boat that would carry him back to his homeland arrive, saddened by his reception in the land of the Rising Sun. He had concluded that this nation was not ready for the awesome might of Samba, and that he should return at another time when it has grown.  
  
The Samba master started towards the plank, when...  
  
"HEY, MONKEY! WE AIN'T FINISHED YET!"  
  
Amigo's eyes grew wide. The aura he felt from his annoying nemesis was great; overwhelming. At that moment, Samba feared, truly feared, that his awesome rhythm would not be able to triumph.  
  
With wide, fear filled eyes, Amigo turned to find his opponent, with his face hidden within the hood of the cloak he wore. "Your technique is good," Ranma started to say in a haughty tone, "And I have yet to come up with a way to fully counter it. But One thing will always reign true; Ranma Saotome is the best, in anything relating to martial arts! Now..." Ranma tossed off the cloak dramatically, and struck the same dynamic pose he had for Akane and Nabiki.  
  
The setting sun's rays glistend off of the red sequins that spelled out Ranma's name in English across his chest, while the black ones seemed to swallow the light that came upon them. They complimented the rippling muscles of his legs through the thin fabric of his tight... tight pants. In each hand he wielded menacing maraccas that seemed eager themselves to do battle.  
  
From under his black and red sombrero, Ranma smiled evilly, stretching the mustache he drew upon his face with a marker. "Now, get ready for a taste of your own medicine... pal!"  
  
Amigo... was *NOT*... amused...  
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"Cheer up, Ranma!" Akane commanded with a perky tone, "In a few weeks, this will all blow over, like the incident when you were caught in girl's bloomers as a guy..."  
  
Ranma-chan grumbled under the cloak she wore, but said nothing.  
  
"Well, I hope you learned an important lesson from all this. sometimes, it's just best to quit while you're ahead."  
  
Ranma-chan sighed, "But Akane, how do you expect me to be the best if I just quit like that?"  
  
"Ranma?" Akane replied in her sweetest voice, "What have I told you about speaking in public?"  
  
"It draws attention to myself, I know," Ranma replied in a much more quiet tone.  
  
"Very good, and what did I tell you about walking beside me?"  
  
"Five paces behind you, so no one thinks we're together."  
  
Akane nodded her head in appreciation. She was correct, though. As long as Ranma didn't do anything stupid, everyone would forget... in time...  
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Looking upon Nerima, a blonde young man with overwhelming twinkles in his eyes, and the largest happy-go-lucky grin that could be created on anything remotely human, barely managed to contain his glee.  
  
He had been told that this was indeed an area to test his greatness, and Shaka of the Tamborine had a lot of greatness to test...  
__________________  
__________________  
  
Anyone else happy to see this mindlessness ended? ^_^ 


End file.
